RETREAT SCHEDULE

Silent Meditation Retreat

With Dr. Michael Hall

At Light on the Hill, Van Etten, NY

 

Friday, Saturday and Sunday

June 5, 6, 7, 2009

 

"Our goal is nothing less than to realize our full potential as human beings by disappearing to who and what we have always thought we are."

 

This retreat is held in silence, except for group teachings/discussion with Michael.

 

Silence

The purpose of maintaining external silence is to encourage the development of internal silence. When we are quiet and able to focus on the workings of our own mind, we inevitably become aware of the noise and chaos of our personal mental narration. Time dedicated to silence, especially in the setting of a spiritual retreat, creates a profound opportunity to observe and experience the triviality and meaninglessness of this constant mental activity. By careful self observation and self-inquiry and we can grow sufficiently detached from identifying with the passing content of our own mind that we effortlessly lose interest in it. Only when the thinking mind is silent can spiritual transformation occur. With this perceptual shift, an entirely new and unfamiliar world opens to us.

 

We are very glad that you will be joining us in a supportive environment in a beautiful natural setting at Light on the Hill Retreat Center. This is an opportunity to discover for yourself the wonder of Presence Awareness. Beginning with meditation after dinner on Friday, we will be silent until lunch on Sunday, except during teaching/discussion. We wear "In Silence" tags to remind the person looking at us of their own commitment to this silence, supporting the depth of silence for each individual and the group as a whole.

 

About Light on the Hill

Perched high in the hills of Van Etten, New York, Light on the Hill is a retreat center which provides a space where seekers of all persuasions can find peace and solace away from their everyday worldly pursuits. The center is located on 236 acres, of woods, streams, gorges, distant views and walking paths.

Inner Light Lodge is a uniquely designed facility with large windows overlooking a sweeping view of rolling hills and meadows. The simple rooms have excellent soundproofing with a large window in each overlooking the beautiful grounds. Four bathrooms with a total of 8 showers and 10 toilets are a short walk down one of the halls. The central sacred meeting space is hexagonal in shape (1160 sq. ft.) and has continual windows on 3 sides with a 32 foot high tipi-like ceiling coming to an apex with a pyramid-shaped skylight. There is a beautiful dining room and fully equipped commercial kitchen.

Rooms are chosen as participants arrive. All rooms are SINGLES with shared baths down the hall.

 

What to bring

All towels and sheets are provided. A person is asked to bring (1) slippers or heavy socks as we ask that shoes be removed at the door, (2) comfortable walking shoes and suitable warm clothing for winter walks, (3) personal toiletries, (4) alarm clock, (5) robe for trips to the bathroom.

Backjacks are available as well as chairs with cushions. If you would like to use a meditation cushion or bench, please bring your own. Seating arrangements are quite informal and you may want to move from chair to floor – bring whatever you need to be comfortable.

Most cells phone do work at any place on the property. It is strongly suggested that you plan not to use your cell phone this weekend. If you need to leave an emergency number with your family or work, Light on the Hill's telephone is: (607) 589-4419

 

Meals

Meals at Light on the Hill are gourmet vegetarian with many vegan options. We use organic ingredients wherever possible.

If you have special dietary needs, you can bring your own food. Those wanting meat can bring cold cuts and cans of tuna, etc. but no meat is allowed to be cooked on the premises. We ask that no liquor be served. We receive numerous high praises about the food we serve.

Travel Directions

Please see: http://lightonthehill.org/findus.cfm

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to email me at wmh1946@hotmail.com. Once you have arrived at Light on the Hill, you will be checked in, assigned a room, and have an opportunity to explore the beautiful grounds and retreat center.

Retreat Manager

Gaye King will be in charge of daily operations. Questions of any sort should be directed to her first. She will meet with me as needed.

Individual meetings with Michael

Saturday afternoon during the free-time period those who are interested can meet privately with me for a brief (10 minutes or so) discussion about any aspect of their experience. These meetings are optional, and primarily oriented towards those who do not ordinarily meet privately with me in Binghamton. There is no extra charge. A sign-up sheet will be provided at the retreat.

Michael Hall PhD

 

Retreat Focus

 

A silent retreat is a rare and wonderful opportunity to dive deeply into awareness of what is true, enduring, unchanging. This "substrata" of existence is always with you, never abandons you, and yet rarely is noticed. Anything at all that we say about "it" is superfluous and indirect. It is best communicated by pure physical presence. The best art, music, and poetry reveal it to us. External and internal silence helps us to recognize this subtle yet continuous undercurrent of the real awareness of what is. Natural settings facilitate our ability to notice the world instead of our mental constructions of the world. A shared group intent formed as individuals practice attunement to reality together raises everyone's ability to pay attention. In the Zen Buddhist tradition this energy has its own name: joriki. This group-generated energy is very real, almost palpable. In the previous retreats I have led, the emergence of this group energy arises predictably within 24 hours or so. I have rarely felt it outside of a retreat setting. Silence, concentration, lack of distractions, and seriousness of purpose facilitate this flow of chi-like energy.

Metaphor, allusion, and simile are the spiritual teachers' forte. In the Gospel of Matthew 13:3, it is noted: "Then he told them many things in parables, saying 'A farmer went out to sow his seed….'". The best spiritual teaching always occurs in a format that is relevant and understandable to the audience at hand. Shakyamuni Buddha, Moses, Abraham, Ramana Maharshi and countless others have taught those with eyes to see and ears to hear in a similar manner. Narrative and story-telling often by-pass the ordinary defense structures and are utilized freely. The deepest truths are communicated through a kind of energetic resonance that is difficult to describe yet also strangely familiar. This different way of learning requires a letting-go of our ordinary death-grip on the illusion of personal control. Slipping into this open awareness is effortless for some, torturous for others. Some relaxation of our hyper-focused attention to data, logic, and reason is necessary for all who wish to recognize who and what they actually are, always have been, and can't not be.

Yet there also is a role for direct, factual, and somewhat structured teaching. I have tried to combine and interweave these two forms of teaching/knowing, as they aren't really separate for me. During this retreat the structured teaching will focus on healing emotional, physical, and energetic wounds. I will present a model of healing that appears to benefit all forms of pain and suffering. This model incorporates my realizations from over 30 years of full-time practice of psychotherapy, yet is simultaneously attuned to the correction of energetic disruptions. Ultimately pure awareness heals all. Seeing clearly, things just are the way they are as we lose interest in comparing what is with what we believe should be but isn't. As even two days is an incredibly short period of time, this will be a beginning, not a completion of this exploration into the roots of healing. However, I have found that even one fresh idea intuitively experienced and recognized can benefit oneself and other life in profound ways. Let's work together to allow awareness to unfold and manifest through us for the benefit of all beings.

 

 

Retreat Schedule

 

Free time is provided to walk the grounds, nap, write, etc.

This schedule is flexible, allowing for the needs of those participating.

Friday

4:00 – 6:00 pm    Arrival and check-in. Rooms are chosen as participants arrive. All rooms are SINGLES with shared baths down the hall. There is time to walk, sit, read and talk before dinner.

6:30 – 7:15        Dinner /:15 break

7:30 – 8:15        Meditation – silence begins

8:15 – 9:30         The Causes of Suffering

    Teaching / discussion

9:30             Free time / bedtime

Saturday

7:15 am         Optional meditation

8:00            Breakfast – free time

9:30 – 10:15 am    Meditation /:15 break

10:30 – 12:30     Recognition of What Is

        Teaching/discussion

12:30            Lunch

1:15 – 2:00 pm    Meditation

2-5 Free time / individual meetings with Michael

5:00 – 5:45     Chanting / meditation

5:45 -6:30        Group discussion / guided imagery

6:30 – 7:15        Dinner /:15 break

7:30 – 8:15         Meditation

8:15 – 9:30         Embracing Reality As it Is

    Teaching/discussion

9:30             Free time/ bedtime

Sunday

7:15 am         Optional meditation

8:00            Breakfast – free time

9:30 – 10:15 am    Meditation /:15 break

10:30 – 12:30     Applying the New Understanding

    Teaching/discussion

 

12:30    Lunch – TALKING RESUMES

1:15             Wrap up, reflections, sharing and goodbyes

MICHAEL HALL PhD

A clinical psychologist in private practice in Binghamton, NY, Michael studied and practiced Zen Buddhism for many years beginning in 1978. An initial experience of non-dual awareness emerged in 1982. Like virtually all first glimpses, this experiential awareness was fleeting. Still the appetite for an enduring awakening had taken hold, as well as an absolute faith in the spiritual truths reported by Shakyamuni Buddha and the Zen teachers of ancient China and Japan. Years of frequent silent meditation retreats allowed this awareness to deepen and expand, yet there was still searching for true liberation. The continuous experiential Knowing that this is it emerged many years later after an apparent surrendering of the desire to become anything at all. With this much deeper and more pervasive understanding, there arose simultaneously a reconnection with his childhood roots in the Christian tradition.

ALREADY AWAKE?

I and many other teachers have commented that our True Nature is always here, always now. Where else could it be? Yet it is obvious that the direct experience of presence awareness is not normal or familiar to hardly anyone. Glancing through Already Awake by Nathan Gill, I wondered how to understand this perspective. Gill and many similar folks assert that there is nothing to do, so therefore do nothing! Huh. If only it were so easy. In fact, there is a lot to do, both prior to and after awakening. To say that we are already awake is similar to saying we are already marathon runners. Obviously, such a statement is confusing. Some of us have the potential to be marathon runners if we train with passion, dedication, and skill over a long period of time. As human beings we have some potential to wake up in this life-time. Very few realize this potential. It is also true that there are infinite degrees of enlightenment.

I believe it is useful to consider how we distract our self from noticing this underlying, continuous awareness that is always present but seldom realized. If awareness is always present, which it is, why do we rarely feel it, taste it, and live it?

To wake up and see clearly, we must look at some of the fundamental flaws in our beliefs that prevent our seeing what is right in front of us. I call it the universal narcissism of human beings. Self-centered striving is the culprit. It is so ingrained that merely becoming aware of how self-absorbed we are takes tremendous work. This work continues even after the most profound awakening. There is nothing wrong with working hard to realize what is true. There is no lazy man's way to awakening. We have to roll up our sleeves, and dive into what is real.

FIND AND SEEK

MICHAEL HALL PHD

1 And he said: Whoever finds the correct
Interpretation of these sayings will never die.

2 Jesus said: The seeker should not stop until he
finds. When he does find, he will be disturbed. After
having been disturbed, he will be astonished. Then
he will reign over everything.


Notice the tension created in the mind by the title Find and Seek. Doesn’t seeking come before finding? Are seeking and finding two? Have you ever wondered why so few seek? Of those who do seek sincerely, why do so few find? How do we seek in a way that might lead to finding?

In Matthew 7:7 Jesus says: “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you। For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Seems promising, but how do we go about seeking? Some guidance surfaces in Matthew 7:13: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Be assured: of those few who find, all sought first. You must truly seek with all your heart, all your mind, and all your spirit.

Finding depends on seeking। Seeking and finding, finding and seeking. Are they two? Ask yourself at this moment ”Who is the seeker? Who finds?” One calls out, the other responds. In the Mumonkan, the classic book of Zen koans compiled in the 13th century by Zen Master Mumon, we find Case # 12: Zuigan Calls “Master”. The challenge is presented: “Every day Master Zuigan would call out to himself, “Oh, Master!”and would answer himself, “Yes?” “Wake up, wake up!” he would cry, and would answer, “Yes, yes!” “Don’t be deceived by others, at any time, day or night.” “No, I will not.” Zuigan was not deceived, but how about you and I? Call and response; are there two Zuigan? What about these “others”? Are they really other, or is it just more of me talking to myself and pretending that there are two?

Seeking in a persistent, determined manner-the kind of seeking that might even lead to finding, does not come easily। Like Zuigan, we might say to our self, “Remember to seek! Be vigilant! Pay attention! Time flies by!” and answer confidently “Oh, don’t worry, I will!” I am often told, “I’m having trouble staying present”। I usually say something like “Really? Where else could you be?” If I’m feeling particularly feisty, I might say “Who is the one that is trying to stay somewhere?”

Confusion is the stock and trade of a real teacher। Do you want to be comfortable, and feel in control? If so, you are in the wrong place। You cannot enter the Kingdom with your beliefs intact। In my view, this is where Mother Teresa was stuck। Reading her posthumous biography, which she never consented to have published in her lifetime, I am startled by the searing pain she felt at her perceived separation from God। Equally amazing is the persistence of her devotion to her calling, even though she felt stranded and bereft, apparently until the moment of her death।

When does seeking end? It ends when you end; simple as that. You end when you are thrown up and spit out by the seeking. On the other hand, as they say in AA, when you grow sick and tired of being sick and tired. When you can’t stand to be you for another second! Affirming Faith inMind, my touchstone to which I return repeatedly states:

In this true world of Emptiness both self and other are no more…।

…।the wise in all times and places awaken to this primal truth। [i]

A calling one and one who answers; one who seeks and one who finds. One who previouslsought, but now has found. All ask plaintively: “What do I do?”

To enter this true empty world, immediately affirm “not-two”….
….Not only here, not only there, truth’s right before your very eyes.

Somehow, we must summon up the courage/desperation to join Abraham in his willingness to slay his deepest attachment. Like Arjuna, terrified and totally freaked out, we must pick up the sword of truth and wisdom and deconstruct all that we are. You really have everything that you need. There’s no time like the present.

REFERENCES

Davies, S. (2003). The Gospel of Thomas: Annotated and explained. Woodstock, VT: Skylight Paths.
Thompson, Charles. (1990). The Thompson chain reference Bible. Second improved edition: New international version. B. B. Kirkbride Bible Co., Inc.: Indianapolis, IN.
Low, A. (1995). The world; A gateway. Commentaries on the Mumonkan. Rutland, VT: Tuttle.
Rochester Zen Center Chant Book. (2005). (New Ed.). Rochester, NY: Rochester Zen Center
Kolodiejchuk, B. (Ed.). (2007). Mother Teresa: Come be my light. The private writings of the “Saint of Calcutta”. New York: Doubleday.

SILENCE

Michael Hall PhD

The purpose of maintaining ‘external’ silence, meaning no talking, is to encourage the development of internal silence। It is only when the thinking mind is silent that spiritual transformation can occur. When we are quiet, and able to focus on the workings of our own minds, we will inevitably become aware of how noisy our mental activity is. Paying attention to this noise, which is the content of your thoughts, is the most direct practice for waking up. Normally, we pay attention to this mental noise, and believe that it is real and important. We then continue to elaborate it endlessly, running around in mental circles until we die. Silence, especially in the context of a spiritual retreat, creates a profound opportunity for each person to see for himself or herself how trivial and meaningless this mental busyness is.

If we will continuously pay attention to this obsessive and relentless fantasying, judging, and worrying, we will eventually become so sick and tired of it that we might just drop it। In Zen terms, this is dropping body and mind। Instead of continuing to treasure the content of our minds, we see through it, and lose interest in it. When seen clearly and accurately, the content of everyone’s mind is equally meaningless and trivial. Yet we spend our entire lives valuing that which has no value, and making ourselves miserable in the process. For what? It is simply a bad habit handed down through endless incarnations, repeatedly for no reason except the mistaken belief that it is inevitable and necessary. It is not inevitable. By careful self-observation, you can grow sufficiently repelled by the content of your own mind that you effortlessly lose interest in it. When you lose interest in our mind and its content, you become open to living freely, undisturbed. An entirely new and unfamiliar world opens in front of you. To lose interest in your mind is to surrender in the deepest sense. It is only then that not my will, but thy will be done will make sense. Our goal is nothing less than to realize our full potential as a human being by disappearing to who and what we have always thought we are.