RETURNING HOME

MICHAEL HALL PhD

 

    A large part of a true spiritual quest is to 'return home'.   Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, we believe we are a very long way from home, when in fact Auntie Em is in the next room! Where else could she be?  In the beautiful and deeply alive hymn Amazing Grace, the narrator reports:"For I was lost, but now am found, by grace, amazing grace!"  Like the Prodigal Son, it seems we need to wander in 'foreign lands' until our wandering releases us. This release is nothing that we can actually accomplish ourselves.  That's why it is termed 'grace'.  What appears to be true is that we must struggle and strive for spiritual realization, knowing that our own efforts will never be sufficient.  St. Thomas Aquinas acknowledges this peculiar truth when he says: "We have to work as if it's all up to us; and pray as if it's all up to God".

So I will use the word 'God' in the same way that I would say:  Buddha Mind, no mind, the Mind of Christ, your original face before your parents were born, the 'you' that isn't born and doesn't die, your True Nature, etc.  I'm not saying that all these and similar terms mean exactly the same thing, but they all do point to a shapeless, formless reality that is outside of, and yet not separate from, space and time.   I particularly like the phrase "presence awareness", and this term can readily be substituted if the word 'God' doesn't work for you.  As we will see, naming our experience, while important and useful sometimes, is also one of the primary limitations to the expansion of our awareness.  At issue here is no less than who and what we think we are.

 

RETREAT SCHEDULE

Silent Meditation Retreat

With Dr. Michael Hall

At Light on the Hill, Van Etten, NY

 

Friday, Saturday and Sunday

June 5, 6, 7, 2009

 

"Our goal is nothing less than to realize our full potential as human beings by disappearing to who and what we have always thought we are."

 

This retreat is held in silence, except for group teachings/discussion with Michael.

 

Silence

The purpose of maintaining external silence is to encourage the development of internal silence. When we are quiet and able to focus on the workings of our own mind, we inevitably become aware of the noise and chaos of our personal mental narration. Time dedicated to silence, especially in the setting of a spiritual retreat, creates a profound opportunity to observe and experience the triviality and meaninglessness of this constant mental activity. By careful self observation and self-inquiry and we can grow sufficiently detached from identifying with the passing content of our own mind that we effortlessly lose interest in it. Only when the thinking mind is silent can spiritual transformation occur. With this perceptual shift, an entirely new and unfamiliar world opens to us.

 

We are very glad that you will be joining us in a supportive environment in a beautiful natural setting at Light on the Hill Retreat Center. This is an opportunity to discover for yourself the wonder of Presence Awareness. Beginning with meditation after dinner on Friday, we will be silent until lunch on Sunday, except during teaching/discussion. We wear "In Silence" tags to remind the person looking at us of their own commitment to this silence, supporting the depth of silence for each individual and the group as a whole.

 

About Light on the Hill

Perched high in the hills of Van Etten, New York, Light on the Hill is a retreat center which provides a space where seekers of all persuasions can find peace and solace away from their everyday worldly pursuits. The center is located on 236 acres, of woods, streams, gorges, distant views and walking paths.

Inner Light Lodge is a uniquely designed facility with large windows overlooking a sweeping view of rolling hills and meadows. The simple rooms have excellent soundproofing with a large window in each overlooking the beautiful grounds. Four bathrooms with a total of 8 showers and 10 toilets are a short walk down one of the halls. The central sacred meeting space is hexagonal in shape (1160 sq. ft.) and has continual windows on 3 sides with a 32 foot high tipi-like ceiling coming to an apex with a pyramid-shaped skylight. There is a beautiful dining room and fully equipped commercial kitchen.

Rooms are chosen as participants arrive. All rooms are SINGLES with shared baths down the hall.

 

What to bring

All towels and sheets are provided. A person is asked to bring (1) slippers or heavy socks as we ask that shoes be removed at the door, (2) comfortable walking shoes and suitable warm clothing for winter walks, (3) personal toiletries, (4) alarm clock, (5) robe for trips to the bathroom.

Backjacks are available as well as chairs with cushions. If you would like to use a meditation cushion or bench, please bring your own. Seating arrangements are quite informal and you may want to move from chair to floor – bring whatever you need to be comfortable.

Most cells phone do work at any place on the property. It is strongly suggested that you plan not to use your cell phone this weekend. If you need to leave an emergency number with your family or work, Light on the Hill's telephone is: (607) 589-4419

 

Meals

Meals at Light on the Hill are gourmet vegetarian with many vegan options. We use organic ingredients wherever possible.

If you have special dietary needs, you can bring your own food. Those wanting meat can bring cold cuts and cans of tuna, etc. but no meat is allowed to be cooked on the premises. We ask that no liquor be served. We receive numerous high praises about the food we serve.

Travel Directions

Please see: http://lightonthehill.org/findus.cfm

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to email me at wmh1946@hotmail.com. Once you have arrived at Light on the Hill, you will be checked in, assigned a room, and have an opportunity to explore the beautiful grounds and retreat center.

Retreat Manager

Gaye King will be in charge of daily operations. Questions of any sort should be directed to her first. She will meet with me as needed.

Individual meetings with Michael

Saturday afternoon during the free-time period those who are interested can meet privately with me for a brief (10 minutes or so) discussion about any aspect of their experience. These meetings are optional, and primarily oriented towards those who do not ordinarily meet privately with me in Binghamton. There is no extra charge. A sign-up sheet will be provided at the retreat.

Michael Hall PhD

 

Retreat Focus

 

A silent retreat is a rare and wonderful opportunity to dive deeply into awareness of what is true, enduring, unchanging. This "substrata" of existence is always with you, never abandons you, and yet rarely is noticed. Anything at all that we say about "it" is superfluous and indirect. It is best communicated by pure physical presence. The best art, music, and poetry reveal it to us. External and internal silence helps us to recognize this subtle yet continuous undercurrent of the real awareness of what is. Natural settings facilitate our ability to notice the world instead of our mental constructions of the world. A shared group intent formed as individuals practice attunement to reality together raises everyone's ability to pay attention. In the Zen Buddhist tradition this energy has its own name: joriki. This group-generated energy is very real, almost palpable. In the previous retreats I have led, the emergence of this group energy arises predictably within 24 hours or so. I have rarely felt it outside of a retreat setting. Silence, concentration, lack of distractions, and seriousness of purpose facilitate this flow of chi-like energy.

Metaphor, allusion, and simile are the spiritual teachers' forte. In the Gospel of Matthew 13:3, it is noted: "Then he told them many things in parables, saying 'A farmer went out to sow his seed….'". The best spiritual teaching always occurs in a format that is relevant and understandable to the audience at hand. Shakyamuni Buddha, Moses, Abraham, Ramana Maharshi and countless others have taught those with eyes to see and ears to hear in a similar manner. Narrative and story-telling often by-pass the ordinary defense structures and are utilized freely. The deepest truths are communicated through a kind of energetic resonance that is difficult to describe yet also strangely familiar. This different way of learning requires a letting-go of our ordinary death-grip on the illusion of personal control. Slipping into this open awareness is effortless for some, torturous for others. Some relaxation of our hyper-focused attention to data, logic, and reason is necessary for all who wish to recognize who and what they actually are, always have been, and can't not be.

Yet there also is a role for direct, factual, and somewhat structured teaching. I have tried to combine and interweave these two forms of teaching/knowing, as they aren't really separate for me. During this retreat the structured teaching will focus on healing emotional, physical, and energetic wounds. I will present a model of healing that appears to benefit all forms of pain and suffering. This model incorporates my realizations from over 30 years of full-time practice of psychotherapy, yet is simultaneously attuned to the correction of energetic disruptions. Ultimately pure awareness heals all. Seeing clearly, things just are the way they are as we lose interest in comparing what is with what we believe should be but isn't. As even two days is an incredibly short period of time, this will be a beginning, not a completion of this exploration into the roots of healing. However, I have found that even one fresh idea intuitively experienced and recognized can benefit oneself and other life in profound ways. Let's work together to allow awareness to unfold and manifest through us for the benefit of all beings.

 

 

Retreat Schedule

 

Free time is provided to walk the grounds, nap, write, etc.

This schedule is flexible, allowing for the needs of those participating.

Friday

4:00 – 6:00 pm    Arrival and check-in. Rooms are chosen as participants arrive. All rooms are SINGLES with shared baths down the hall. There is time to walk, sit, read and talk before dinner.

6:30 – 7:15        Dinner /:15 break

7:30 – 8:15        Meditation – silence begins

8:15 – 9:30         The Causes of Suffering

    Teaching / discussion

9:30             Free time / bedtime

Saturday

7:15 am         Optional meditation

8:00            Breakfast – free time

9:30 – 10:15 am    Meditation /:15 break

10:30 – 12:30     Recognition of What Is

        Teaching/discussion

12:30            Lunch

1:15 – 2:00 pm    Meditation

2-5 Free time / individual meetings with Michael

5:00 – 5:45     Chanting / meditation

5:45 -6:30        Group discussion / guided imagery

6:30 – 7:15        Dinner /:15 break

7:30 – 8:15         Meditation

8:15 – 9:30         Embracing Reality As it Is

    Teaching/discussion

9:30             Free time/ bedtime

Sunday

7:15 am         Optional meditation

8:00            Breakfast – free time

9:30 – 10:15 am    Meditation /:15 break

10:30 – 12:30     Applying the New Understanding

    Teaching/discussion

 

12:30    Lunch – TALKING RESUMES

1:15             Wrap up, reflections, sharing and goodbyes

MICHAEL HALL PhD

A clinical psychologist in private practice in Binghamton, NY, Michael studied and practiced Zen Buddhism for many years beginning in 1978. An initial experience of non-dual awareness emerged in 1982. Like virtually all first glimpses, this experiential awareness was fleeting. Still the appetite for an enduring awakening had taken hold, as well as an absolute faith in the spiritual truths reported by Shakyamuni Buddha and the Zen teachers of ancient China and Japan. Years of frequent silent meditation retreats allowed this awareness to deepen and expand, yet there was still searching for true liberation. The continuous experiential Knowing that this is it emerged many years later after an apparent surrendering of the desire to become anything at all. With this much deeper and more pervasive understanding, there arose simultaneously a reconnection with his childhood roots in the Christian tradition.

ALREADY AWAKE?

I and many other teachers have commented that our True Nature is always here, always now. Where else could it be? Yet it is obvious that the direct experience of presence awareness is not normal or familiar to hardly anyone. Glancing through Already Awake by Nathan Gill, I wondered how to understand this perspective. Gill and many similar folks assert that there is nothing to do, so therefore do nothing! Huh. If only it were so easy. In fact, there is a lot to do, both prior to and after awakening. To say that we are already awake is similar to saying we are already marathon runners. Obviously, such a statement is confusing. Some of us have the potential to be marathon runners if we train with passion, dedication, and skill over a long period of time. As human beings we have some potential to wake up in this life-time. Very few realize this potential. It is also true that there are infinite degrees of enlightenment.

I believe it is useful to consider how we distract our self from noticing this underlying, continuous awareness that is always present but seldom realized. If awareness is always present, which it is, why do we rarely feel it, taste it, and live it?

To wake up and see clearly, we must look at some of the fundamental flaws in our beliefs that prevent our seeing what is right in front of us. I call it the universal narcissism of human beings. Self-centered striving is the culprit. It is so ingrained that merely becoming aware of how self-absorbed we are takes tremendous work. This work continues even after the most profound awakening. There is nothing wrong with working hard to realize what is true. There is no lazy man's way to awakening. We have to roll up our sleeves, and dive into what is real.